The month of may.
it's the month of receiving and loss.
i regretted a lot for not visiting my granny more often.
now she's gone the only hope for me to ever spend time with her is through my dreams.
yet i ever once dream of granny.
i would wonder out of no where if she is doing alright above,
or does she still remember me as her granddaughter.
it is truly heart wrenching for me when she cant recognise me at all just before she pass away.
i stay surprisingly strong,at least in front of granny.
i didn't want to let the atmosphere turn staple.
i want her to spend her last moment peacefully.
i rubbed her cold hand to make it warm ,
in turn she held my hand with all the strength she had left,trying to thank me for coming.
afraid to let her see my teary eyes,
i just took a quick glance at her.
that glance finally make me break down.
i rush to the toilet and pictures of granny in tubing flashes in my head.
every tube and needles,
i feel the same pain,
the pain that i cant descried,
the pain which hurts even till now.
"
i'm sorry granny,for not going for your last birthday celebration this year.and now i never got a chance to."
in 
touch phone
a new nail colour for my toes
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
@ 12:26 AM 
friend @